Why do some people not look into each other’s eyes?

There can be many reasons for avoiding eye contact during communication. In this article, we’re going to look at some of the reasons why you might not make eye contact with your partner.

When communicating with someone, your hands, facial expressions, and eye contact are just as important as what you say. It is said that gestures account for 65% of the communication process, but there are people who do not look into the eyes of the other person when talking. Let’s see if the reason can be scientifically explained.

Of course, it’s important to avoid overgeneralizing, such as assuming that the other person loves you or feels remorse for what they did. If eye contact occurs frequently, it is likely due to some underlying condition.

Why don’t you look people in the eye when you talk

First, there are not always conditions that explain this habit. Some people avert their eyes simply because of preference or to focus on the communication process.

In this regard, a paper published in Cognition in 2016 points out that eye contact can interfere with certain cognitive processes during a conversation. Some people may be more sensitive to this mechanism and may prefer to look at the floor, hand, or void to focus on speaking and listening.

In this article, we’ll talk about 5 of the most important reasons not to look someone in the eye and what’s behind them.

1. Social phobia

social phobia
A person with social phobia can be recognized by conversation as well as gaze processing.

Social phobia is an irrational fear that occurs in someone in a specific situation. Speaking in front of people, sharing space with many people, and dealing with strangers can be difficult situations for someone with social phobia.

According to research, up to 6.5% of the population suffers from social phobia, which is a very common disorder. Because it appears chronically, it goes beyond shyness and interferes with work, friendships, schoolwork, and leisure time throughout life.

However, the classic symptom of social anxiety disorder, avoidance of gaze, occurs differently in each person. Let’s look at other signs of social phobia.

  • Rigid posture during communication
  • small voice
  • sweating, shivering, and redness
  • tachycardia
  • A timid attitude (especially in front of strangers)
  • An uncontrollable desire to avoid crowded places

Some of the aforementioned symptoms are sometimes so intense that they can cause them to quit work or school, completely isolating them from society.

2. Reasons for not looking people in the eye when speaking: Asperger’s Syndrome

It is a condition that constitutes autism spectrum disorder (ASD)Affects the ability to socialize and communicate with others in general.

Studies show that up to 87% of people with Asperger’s syndrome avoid eye contact. They find eye contact unnecessary, annoying, and compulsory and do not know that eye contact is necessary from time to time.

Patients affected by Asperger’s Syndrome make facial expressions and gestures in line with what is being said, which may seem mechanical and standardized.

3. Shyness

Shyness is also a symptom of social phobia. Of course, not all shy people suffer from social phobia, but they do share some characteristics. Of course, shyness is different for each person.

Some experts, both shy and socially phobic, avoid eye contact or even avoid eye contact when talking to others.

Shyness itself is not a disorder, but it can impair social interaction. It can also develop into anxiety or depression, so it’s a good idea to seek professional help to overcome your shyness and prevent these sequelae.

4. Avoid looking people in the eyes: low self-esteem

low self-esteem
Inferior or low self-esteem can affect the way you relate to others. This includes the simple fact of avoiding eye contact when having a conversation.

The reason for not looking into the eyes of others can be low self-esteem. Low self-esteem, which is a set of negative perceptions, emotions, and thoughts about oneself, is evident in the communication process.

Speaks in a very low voice, is afraid to express opinions or views, feels uncomfortable in public, and avoids eye contact. People with low self-esteem are always afraid of being judged or judged, so they try to be as inconspicuous as possible.

5. Reason for not looking at other people: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

Lastly, people who do not look others in the eyes are likely to have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is a chronic condition with multiple manifestations that may begin in childhood and extend into adulthood.

Various elements combine to avoid the eyes of others. It is also difficult to do homework, easily distracted, fidgety with some activities, and unable to carry out commands.

there is not always a reason

Sometimes there is no objective reason for avoiding the other person’s gaze. Some people neglect gestures, such as avoiding eye contact to focus on their thoughts.

In fact, other temporary situations such as worry, anxiety, or distraction from fatigue can also be the cause.

Fortunately, all of the above situations can be addressed, and normative social relationships can be formed by learning interaction skills during communication.

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